8 years

It has been 8 years today since my Dad passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack. I was 17 years old and at what should have been my last Youth Conference.

There were about 7 of us girls, Kate and Patti, two of my closest friends at the Cloud's cabin for the night. I woke up later than intended that morning and was surprise that S. Cloud hadn't woken me up earlier. She knew my preference to being one of the first awake. After I stirring, I was told to shower quickly because there was a family emergency, and Dad was at the hospital. That was the fastest shower I have ever taken, I swear it took 30 sec. Knowing Dad's physical health, I had already surmised that he had had a heart attack. No one had told me. Everyone else in the Cabin already knew and weren't making eye contact with me. I didn't notice it at the time. S. Cloud still needed to get something together before she could take me to the hospital, so Kate, Patti, and I were waiting outside by the car. I was bawling my eyes out. S. Cloud came out and asked me why I was crying, and in hindsight, I realize she thought that Kate and Patti had told me. I told S. Cloud," Dad has had a heart attack and I don't know how bad it is." She just stood there for a minute before finally telling me that he had passed away. I lost it.

After they loaded up the car, I asked to go to camp, where I had been working all summer. There were some dear friends I had made there and I had this compulsion to go there before going to hospital. Luckily for me the camp was only a couple miles away. S. Cloud obliged me and with Kate and Patti in the car with me, we drove to camp. I ran in and told my roommate, Michelle what had happen and then ran to the guy's campsite and told them. And I mean I ran, Kate and Patti chased me down, since they didn't know where I was going. S. Cloud called Mom at the time and was told that they were about ready to leave the hospital so it would be better to just bring me home.

We got home and Vanessa and Alan were there. Roger, also at Youth Conference, they had had a hard time finding which house he was at, I think he had switched which home he was supposed to have been at. He showed up an hour later. We found out more details as to what had happened. Dad had always had chronic insomnia, and Mom woke up to him coming back to bed around 5 ish. She asked if he was feeling better, he said yes, got back into bed, then proceeded to roll out of bed about 30 seconds later. It was instant. Mom called 911 and started doing CPR, but it was already too late. Alan was the only other person at home. He was 13. Vanessa was already married and out of the house.

A lot of things happened that day, a lot I don't remember, so I won't forget. Vanessa and I went with Mom to the cemetary to pick a plot. I remember S. Manley came with us and told us afterwards that the funeral director was good looking. He was. We also all got in the car to drive to Pap's house because Mom knew he wouldn't be able to handle the news over the phone. Ethan, Vanessa's husband drove us there. Once we got there, I think he knew something was up, but didn't know what was going on. To this day, watching Mom tell Pap that his only son had died that morning was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. Pap isn't a member of the Church, so he didn't have the knowledge of life after death and that families can be together forever. He just kept saying," I going to 90 this year, why him? He wasn't suppose to go before me.". It was excruciating to watch. Mom called Aunt Grace, Dad's sister while we were still there and told her.

We went back home and frankly I was exhausted. I was tired of being at home around everything. S. Cloud was going to take Kate and Patti back to Y. Conference in time for the dance. Roger and I decided we needed the distraction, so we went. It was what we needed. I went to the testimony meeting they had the next day as well. On the way home, S. Cloud and I were discussing a bunch of different thing and Roger's birthday came up. His birthday was in three days and he was turning 16. We had the Funeral viewing scheduled that day. S. Cloud had been in this situation herself. Her older brother had died just before her 16th?(not a 100% sure) birthday, and they rescheduled the funeral so it wasn't on her birthday. We decided to throw him a surprise birthday party. It wasn't fair that his birthday should ignored. We called two of his friends, found a place, and let them contact everyone else.

I don't remember who came with me to church that Sunday, I do remember only staying for Sacrament. Monday was a blur getting ready for everything and family coming in. Tuesday was the two different viewings. Most of my co-workers from camp came. They were surprised at how much fun a "Mormon" funeral can be. They felt bad for laughing, but it amused me. That night, Ethan and Vanessa grabbed Roger and told him we were going to take him out to get some ice cream for his birthday. We drove over to where the party was, which isn't near any ice cream place in town, and when Roger saw his friends out on the lawn, he was asking what they were doing here. He was pleasantly surprised and we all had a break from a very long depressing day.


By the way, standing in the receiving line SUCKS. I refused to do it Wednesday morning at the viewing right before the funeral. I ended up standing off to the side with friends and family, near the line, but not where I was expected to hug everyone else. I don't remember much about the funeral except that much to Mom's chagrin, and old neighbor sang," Amazing Grace", a song that Mom hates because everyone sings it too slow. The neighbor did a decent job, it just didn't seem to fit into everything else. There were mentioning of things that Dad did with us, like he loved amusement parks and we went to one every year, he would take one of us out eat for breakfast every Saturday morning, stuff like that.

There was a luncheon afterwards, and Mom grabbed us kids and we went to the cemetary for the burial. It was just a few of us. There was going to be a bigger gathering after the luncheon, but this was just for us. Mom and Dad had had a 5th child, a little girl, named Natalie that had died at birth (this was not a surprising death), and as per agreement with the cemetary, her grave had been moved over to Dad's. We could see her coffin being buried with Dad's. After we said our good-byes we went back to the luncheon. The guys I worked with at Camp were chowing down the food, amazed at how much there was and how good it was. They provided some much comedic relief for us.

We had a close friends and family gather go back to the cemetary afterwards. There was prayer said, but I don't recall any of it.

Dad was very much a plain vanilla guy, who loved the scouting program. That is actually what introduced him to the church. He was drafted into the army during Vietnam and was serving at a supply unit in Germany where he helped out with a Scouting troop there where he met some members. He joined over there. He loved Roller Coasters, couldn't sit still to save his life. Our books and movies would be cataloged on his days off. He like to surprise treat us to ice cream occasionally and was the Bishop of our ward for 7 years.

I miss him.