Superficial, but annoying

A couple of months ago, I did something to my right hand thumbnail. Smash it, hit, bumped it, I don't know, I don't remember. Because of this random injury, I now have, what appears to be, two separate nails. It is split all the way down past the cuticle line. And I mean split, they both grow at different pace. That is right, it keeps growing. Now the split is not in the middle, conveniently it is off to the far left side, therefore not as noticeable. But with it being split, it means I catch it on everything, my clothes, my gloves, my son's diaper, my blankets, Ethan's hair, my hair, anything.

Plus, it looks ugly. I am very proud of my nails and the way the look. I was a nail biter until 6th grade, then after 3 attempts, I managed to quit. Since then they have grown strong and have great shape.

Therefore with it being ugly, misshapen, and a general pain, I am asking for any suggestions on how to fix it. Nail polish isn't strong enough to keep the split sealed. I have tried superglueing it, but I want something a littl more permanent. The only idea that seems to be left in my mind is smash my nail enough that it turns black and just falls off and hope a nice new one grows in its place. Problems with that is, I am a wuss when it comes to pain, and that idea holds no appeal to me whatsoever. Suggestions would be appreciated.